Didsbury 4th xv 20 - 14 Didsbury 3rd xv

Both sides arrived at the club in good time. Pre-match banter in the bar, confusion over who’s wearing which kit, referee late due to motorway madness…..game on.

It’s arguable if there’s a better ground to play on in the area, sunshine, light breeze, firm pitch so neither team had any excuses. 4th’s captain Rick Mass got the game underway and it became immediately apparent that the 3rd’s were going to have the upper hand in the set pieces. Their front row comprised of Andrews, Roberts and a rather grizzled Brookes who throughout the game took on, and got the better of a succession opposition props.

To offset this disparity Cpt Mass asked for “fast ball” from each and every ruck. Personally, I thought he was getting “fast ball” but increasingly the ball arrived along with John Clay & Tom Graham attached to it. So much so that after 10 minutes I offered to change shirts with said Graham as he seemed to be on our side of the pitch more than his own! However, he got his comeuppance after 12 minutes when the referee, resplendent in purple penalised him in front of the posts. 3-0 to the 4th’s.

The 4th’s again made yards through quick rucking until Colin Woodbridge (still playing to 1980’s rules) gently placed his size 11’s on some young boys body. Scream, protestations, yellow card! This seemed to galvanize the 3rd’s who immediately threw caution to the wind and after an amazingly skilful move involving Gill (yes he passed), Irvine and Bawden the ball fell to the unfortunate right wing! The next scene was more akin to the hand bag chasers of Old Trafford as the 4th’s scrum half hacked him down from behind. Certainly, if I’d been playing for the opposing team I’d have filled him in!
The ref pronounced penalty try – red card would have been justice!
‘Nuff said 3-7

The next 10 minutes were closely contested culminating in those rarest of events. A drop goal, not just any drop goal but one scored by Capt Mass – yes you read that correctly!
Ruck, ruck, ruck, pass, stumble, mishandle, drop, kick, 3 points. 6-7

Again, the 3rd’s replied immediately from the re-start. After a fumbled attempt to catch the kick off, they won the resulting scrum and drove deep into the opposition territory. The 4th’s defended manfully, led by Vicary and Treble who both slowed the game down to their pace but an indiscretion led to a quickly taken tapped penalty by Jones. Fast hands ended in Irvine darting in for 5 points. Excellent conversion. 6-14

Half time – new ref – well done Harry – your pints on the bar!

Immediately, from the whistle it was obvious what the 3rd’s had been talking about during the break. Run the ball at every opportunity, even from under their own sticks. Riley added pace and power to their ranks but just when they thought they’d broken the line a mistake would lead to Capt Mass retrieving the lost yards with a kick behind the wingers. Straight from a 70’s coaching manual. Indeed, it was one such kick that lead to a series of possession resulting in the impressive Khan sneaking over under the 3rd’s posts. 13-14

Copy and paste above for the next try substituting Khan for Sayers. The young winger has obviously played American football as his adroit use of the ref as a blocker can only come from experience in the NFL. 20-14

At last, the 3 rd’s played like they wanted to win. Maybe this was due to Gill’s rallying call! Ladies blushed, children cried as he bellowed like a lion “FOR F**** SAKE, F***ING KILL THE F****** C***S! Quite

Anyway, it worked. They camped out on the 4th’s line for 5 minutes but somehow couldn’t cross the whitewash. The merry whistleblower blew and that was that.

Special mention to Alan MoTM Hinton who has found his position. Throw away your number 12 shirt – welcome to the pack!