Lancashire Cup Round 2

Didsbury Barbarians had an uncustomary early rise, to meet for this U16 Lancashire Cup fixture at the ungodly hour of 9:30am. Our squad was close to full strength, albeit a couple of cry-offs at the 11th (8th) hour required a reshuffle of the tight forwards. Nevertheless there was a ripple of confidence as the team went through its paces in a warm up that might have been a rehearsal. What followed was not so much of a game of two halves, this was more of a 6-part drama serial. But was it a sitcom, drama, pantomime horror - I'm not really sure?
Episode 1: Fumble city. From the kick-off, both teams did their utmost to outdo each other with the clumsiest knock-on. Three minutes of to-and-fro; two passes backwards, one pass forwards. They made the chuckle brothers look well organised.
Episode 2: Keep it simple. Didsbury were the first to string four passes together, the backs getting the ball where it needed to be - in the winger’s hands. He doesn’t pass often and he didn’t need to, Jamie still had a lot of work to do covering the full length of the pitch and breaking through 14 tackles, there were cheers as he scored under the posts. Logan converted for an early 7-0 lead.
Episode 3: Aldwinians Strike Back. Testament to the grit and determination shown by Aldwinians, they played up the hill and into the wind yet still spent most of the first half inside the Didsbury 22. The pressure eventually told, and they wrestled the ball through a lethargic defence, duly converted and 7-7.
Episode 4: Bystanders might be mistaken for thinking this was a re-run of episode one. Pat-a-cake volleyball for ten more minutes. Aldwinans kicked a penalty, then Jamie reminded them he is still quite quick over 100m and scored again, this time near the corner. Half time then showed a narrow 10-12 lead to the visitors. This score was an honest representation of the performance of both sides, and had the game ended here there could have been no complaints.
Episode 5: Penalty! There is an imaginary line on the field of play that runs perpendicular to the touchlines, passing through the back foot of the ruck or breakdown. The referee had explained this to the players during the interval and he called it ‘the offside line’. One might infer that Didsbury’s players were completely new to the concept of offside, such was their demonstrable confusion as to where they could or could not stand. No penalty count available because I ran out of fingers, and toes. Amazing that with ten minutes to go, the score had not changed.
Episode 6: Sleepers. Zzzzz…! I nodded off for five minutes. I dreamt a very lucid dream where the opposition had scored three identical tries. Each time we kicked the ball to them they caught it, danced in an ethereal slow-motion straight through our clasping arms and fingers and dived under the posts. When I woke up I realised it was all true. Aldwinians will not score any easier tries this season.
Final Score, Aldwinians 29-12 Didsbury Barbarians. On reflection, both teams deserved the result that they achieved.